after i love u.....

I thought u are my love and...

i thought u were my everything..

i believe that you will be my last love..

i smile only for u... i lived only 4 u..

i thought that was happiness..

i believed in ur love.

it was all a lie

it's all a lie..

ur love was complete lie

this love hurt me so much..

making me this sad..

leaving me to cry..

you said you'd only love me..

that you'd protect me..

ur love complete lie..

u took my entire heart and 

u took my love

what is living is love..

recieving love from one person and 

giving ur love to that person..

like a fool, i thought that person was u..

Thing call love is a lie..

the words ' i love you' is also lie,

the word forever is also lie,

u left the belief that you would come back.

Where did u go?

u're getting further and further away,

Where did u go?

what are u doing when i love u only?

i believe

that u would come back

that u would come back to me,

i can't love again,

even if u hurt me this much,

even u make me this sad,

i'm waiting only 4 u....

The love letter

I was always a little in awe of Great-aunt Stephina Roos. Indeed, as children we were all frankly terrified of her. The fact that she did not live with the family, preferring her tiny cottage and solitude to the comfortable but rather noisy household where we were brought up-added to the respectful fear in which she was held.
We used to take it in turn to carry small delicacies which my mother had made down from the big house to the little cottage where Aunt Stephia and an old colored maid spent their days. Old Tnate Sanna would open the door to the rather frightened little messenger and would usher him-or her - into the dark voor-kamer, where the shutters were always closed to keep out the heat and the flies. There we would wait, in trembling but not altogether unpleasant.
She was a tiny little woman to inspire so much veneration. She was always dressed in black, and her dark clothes melted into the shadows of the voor-kamer and made her look smaller than ever. But you felt. The moment she entered. That something vital and strong and somehow indestructible had come in with her, although she moved slowly, and her voice was sweet and soft.
She never embraced us. She would greet us and take out hot little hands in her own beautiful cool one, with blue veins standing out on the back of it, as though the white skin were almost too delicate to contain them.

Tante Sanna would bring in dishes of sweet, sweet, sticky candy, or a great bowl of grapes or peaches, and Great-aunt Stephina would converse gravely about happenings on the farm ,and, more rarely, of the outer world.
When we had finished our sweetmeats or fruit she would accompany us to the stoep, bidding us thank our mother for her gift and sending quaint, old-fashioned messages to her and the Father. Then she would turn and enter the house, closing the door behind, so that it became once more a place of mystery.

As I grew older I found, rather to my surprise, that I had become genuinely fond of my aloof old great-aunt. But to this day I do not know what strange impulse made me take George to see her and to tell her, before I had confided in another living soul, of our engagement. To my astonishment, she was delighted.
"An Englishman,"she exclaimed."But that is splendid, splendid. And you,"she turned to George,"you are making your home in this country? You do not intend to return to England just yet?"
She seemed relieved when she heard that George had bought a farm near our own farm and intended to settle in South Africa. She became quite animated, and chattered away to him.
After that I would often slip away to the little cottage by the mealie lands. Once she was somewhat disappointed on hearing that we had decided to wait for two years before getting married, but when she learned that my father and mother were both pleased with the match she seemed reassured.

Still, she often appeared anxious about my love affair, and would ask questions that seemed to me strange, almost as though she feared that something would happen to destroy my romance. But I was quite unprepared for her outburst when I mentioned that George thought of paying a lightning visit to England before we were married."He must not do it,"she cried."Ina, you must not let him go. Promise me you will prevent him."she was trembling all over. I did what I could to console her, but she looked so tired and pale that I persuaded her to go to her room and rest, promising to return the next day.
When I arrived I found her sitting on the stoep. She looked lonely and pathetic, and for the first time I wondered why no man had ever taken her and looked after her and loved her. Mother had told me that Great-aunt Stephina had been lovely as a young girl, and although no trace of that beauty remained, except perhaps in her brown eyes, yet she looked so small and appealing that any man, one felt, would have wanted to protect her.
She paused, as though she did not quite know how to begin.

Then she seemed to give herself, mentally, a little shake. "You must have wondered ", she said, "why I was so upset at the thought of young George's going to England without you. I am an old woman, and perhaps I have the silly fancies of the old, but I should like to tell you my own love story, and then you can decide whether it is wise for your man to leave you before you are married."

"I was quite a young girl when I first met Richard Weston. He was an Englishman who boarded with the Van Rensburgs on the next farm, four or five miles from us. Richard was not strong. He had a weak chest, and the doctors had sent him to South Africa so that the dry air could cure him. He taught the Van Rensburg children, who were younger than I was, though we often played together, but he did this for pleasure and not because he needed money.

"We loved one another from the first moment we met, though we did not speak of our love until the evening of my eighteenth birthday. All our friends and relatives had come to my party, and in the evening we danced on the big old carpet which we had laid down in the barn. Richard had come with the Van Rensburgs, and we danced together as often as we dared, which was not very often, for my father hated the Uitlanders. Indeed, for a time he had quarreled with Mynheer Van Rensburg for allowing Richard to board with him, but afterwards he got used to the idea, and was always polite to the Englishman, though he never liked him.
"That was the happiest birthday of my life, for while we were resting between dances Richard took me outside into the cool, moonlit night, and there, under the stars ,he told me he loved me and asked me to marry him. Of course I promised I would, for I was too happy to think of what my parents would say, or indeed of anything except Richard was not at our meeting place as he had arranged. I was disappointed but not alarmed, for so many things could happen to either of us to prevent out keeping our tryst. I thought that next time we visited the Van Ransburgs, I should hear what had kept him and we could plan further meetings…
"So when my father asked if I would drive with him to Driefontein I was delighted. But when we reached the homestead and were sitting on the stoep drinking our coffee, we heard that Richard had left quite suddenly and had gone back to England. His father had died, and now he was the heir and must go back to look after his estates.

"I do not remember very much more about that day, except that the sun seemed to have stopped shining and the country no longer looked beautiful and full of promise, but bleak and desolate as it sometimes does in winter or in times of drought. Late that afternoon, Jantje, the little Hottentot herd boy, came up to me and handed me a letter , which he said the English baas had left for me. It was the only love letter I ever received, but it turned all my bitterness and grief into a peacefulness which was the nearest I could get, then, to happiness. I knew Richard still loved me, and somehow, as long as I had his letter, I felt that we could never be really parted, even if he were in England and I had to remain on the farm. I have it yet, and though I am an old, tired woman, it still gives me hope and courage."

"I must have been a wonderful letter, Aunt Stephia,"I said
The old lady came back from her dreams of that far-off romance."Perhaps," she said, hesitating a little, "perhaps, my dear, you would care to read it ?"
"I should love to , Aunt Stephia,"I said gently
She rose at once and tripped into the house as eagerly as a young girl. When she came back she handed me a letter, faded and yellow with age, the edges of the envelope worn and frayed as though it had been much handled. But when I came to open it I found that the seal was unbroken.
"Open it ,open it,"said Great-aunt Stephia, and her voice was shaking

I broke the seal and read.

It was not a love letter in the true sense of the word, but pages of the minutest directions of how"my sweetest Phina"was to elude her father's vigilance, creep down to the drift at night and there meet Jantje with a horse which would take her to Smitsdorp. There she was to go to "my true friend, Henry Wilson",who would give her money and make arrangements for her to follow her lover to Cape Town and from there to England ," where, my love, we can he be married at once. But if, my dearest, you are not sure that you can face lift with me in a land strange to you, then do not take this important step, for I love you too much to wish you the smallest unhappiness. If you do not come, and if I do not hear from you, then I shall know that you could never be happy so far from the people and the country which you love. If, however, you feel you can keep your promise to me, but are of too timid and modest a journey to England unaccompanied, then write to me, and I will, by some means, return to fetch my bride."

I read no further.

"But Aunt Phina!"I gasped. "Why…why…?"

The old lady was watching me with trembling eagerness, her face flushed and her eyes bright with expectation."Read it aloud, my dear,"she said."I want to hear every word of it. There was never anyone I could trust…Uitlanders were hated in my young days…I could not ask anyone."

"But, Auntie, don't you even know  what he wrote?"

The old lady looked down, troubled and shy like a child who has unwittingly done wrong.

"No, dear," she said, speaking very  low."You see, I never learned to read.

will it be da second heart broken???

if i wrote note 2 God...
i say..i say..

Give us the strength to make it through
Help us find love cause love is overdue
And it looks like we haven’t got a clue
Need some help
Grant us the faith to carry on
Give us hope when it seems all hope is gone
Cause it seems like so much is goin wrong
On this road we’re on

i just accept him 2 be part of my life...
hope we can go trough without effect our stdy..
n neva be da second heart broken 4 me.. cos.. it will take along of time 4 me 2 cure it.. amin..

Sad Love Story Letting Her Go

"I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! " Jeanne's eyes were wide and filled with tears. She was afraid of what he would say to her.

---------------------------------------------

Jeanne was a nerdy girl with thick glasses. She was a junior in her middle school. She was in love with the hottest guy in the entire school.

And now, she told him that she loved him.

"Haha! Shut up. Nobody would like you! Who do you think I am?"

Jeanne had feared he would say something like that. She was devastated. She started running. She didn't want to face him ever again. All these thoughts and feelings ran throughout her head. Until, she bumped into something.

"Hey, whats up?"

She had bumped into James.

"WHAT?! I'll GO TELL HIM! WHERE DOES HE GET THAT NERVE! SOMETIMES, I DON'T KNOW WHY I'M HIS BEST FRIEND! THAT'S IT! i'M GOING TO GO BEAT HIM UP!"

"NO! James! Don't do it! It's not his fault. I was the foolish one to think we can ever date."

"But Jeanne!"

" No, it's OK! I should go."

" JEANNE... James grabbed her by the wrist as she was getting up. Don't go."

Jeanne stared into his eyes and felt so warm and fuzzy; a feeling she didn't feel for a long time. But, she looked away. She saw in such a long time, it felt awkward to feel it again. And then she gently took her wrist out of James' grasp and slowly walked away from him with tears in her eyes.

"Dammit, James! You really did it this time! Jeanne just left you! And why are you trying to hit on her?"

James walked back home with his hands stuffed in his pocket. Thoughts of Jeanne ran throughout his head. He didn't want Jeanne to be hurt by a jackass. He wanted to show her that he loved her. He wanted to show her he cared. But Jeanne just seemed to ignore him. And then, something ran into him. He crashed on the ground and saw Jeanne was on top of him. She seemed to not know whom she crashed into. James smiled.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm very, very sorry. I should have been more careful.. I'm sorry. Can I repay you somehow?"

"Jeanne", James said, lifting her chin and brushing her bangs. Jeanne looked through his soft eyes and almost melted.

"James..." said Jeanne. Suddenly, she started crying. James was shocked.

" J-Jeanne? What's wrong?"

"I' m s-s-such a f-fool! H-How c-c-can I th-think t-that G-Gyung H-Hoon c-can love me?"

"Jeanne.. I would not call that foolish.. I actually admire you going up to him and confessing.

However, crying about him is indeed foolish. Jeanne, Don't cry about that jerk. Here, let's go to my house. We're right in front of it!" Jeanne nodded.

James led her to the bathroom.

"Take off your glasses. We need to wipe those tears off." He said with a smile.

Jeanne took them off without a word. James turned on the water and wet a washcloth. Then, he gently wiped her tears off her face.

" James.. Do you love me?" James was startled by this comment.

" Why do you ask me that?"

" Because.. it seems like it. Do you?"

" Haha! Jeanne, you are my friend."

" Oh.. OK. I think I'm not so teary now. Thanks, James."

" No Problem. Do you want something to drink?"

" Um... OK." She followed James out the door.

He handed her a glass of orange juice and they sat down outside on a bench.

" Are you going to be all right?"

" Yeah.. Thanks. But I don't think I'll be able to face him again."

" When he calls you something bad, just yell my name. OK?"

" OK." she said with a small laugh.

" But what are you going to do when I call you?"

" I'm going to beat him up!"

" What if everyone starts hating you?"

" It doesn't matter. As long as the one girl I love is happy."

" Ooh, James! You like someone?"

" Yeah.. Guess. I'll never tell you until you get the right answer."

" Hmm... is it Amy? She's pretty! What about Lauren? She's nice and quiet. Or is it Becca? She's generous. Or maybe it's Courtney! She's not all that nice though..."

After a few tries, she gave up.

"Who is it? I'm dying of curiosity!"

" Let's see.. she has glasses.. she's in love with Eric, she's sitting right next to me! Jeanne let out a small gasp."

" M-Me?" James nodded. Jeanne almost passed out.

" James! I have declared you crazy." James started laughing.

" Why won't you believe me? I like you.. I want you to be my girlfriend."

" But you're the second hottest guy in school! What if everyone criticizes you for bad taste in girls?"

" I don't care¦ I told you. As long as the one girl I love is happy." he said, smiling.

" No, really, James. No games this time. All serious.. all right?"

" Yeah.. I know."

" Oh my god..." Jeanne said, covering her mouth with her hand.

"Jeanne, I just want to be the right guy for you." he said while putting his arm around her shoulder. She leaned against him and for the first time, she felt accepted by someone special.

"But, James! Why did you say I was just a friend before?"

"Umm! I didn't feel like it was time yet." Jeanne nodded. She knew how hard it was to say, "I love you." She knew how nervous you would feel. And she knew how hard it was to feel the reject.

"I understand, James. I'm just glad you told me. I'll think about it."

"Jeanne, do you still like Eric?"

"Yes!"

"What has he got, that I don't?"

"I just don't know! I mean! you two look the same! you guys wear things all similarly! but! I like Eric better."

"All right! I'll make him like you. He knows he's not going to win in a fight." Jeanne wrapped him in her arms.

"James! I'm all right. You don't have to do all that." And then he wrapped her in his arms.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Eric, can I see you for a moment?"

"What up, dude?"

"It's about Jeanne!"

"Oh no! don't tell me about that ugly! I just barf when I hear her name!"

"SHUT UP! DUDE, YOU JUST HAVE TO GIVE HER A CHANCE! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?"

"Hey! I have other girls who want me. The least thing I need now is another girl who is ugly and slow liking me."

"She's not ugly and slow! She's kind and beautiful in the inside when you get to know her!"

"Wait! do you!?"

"Yes! I do!"

"Haha! Then why don't you date her?"

"Because! she's in love with a jackass!"

"STILL? Haha! Man, she's hilarious! After I rejected her like that?"

"Hey! please! it would mean a lot to me! just say that you at least like her as a friend and apologize for what happened last time. Man, she came running all the way to my house and started crying! She was just! out of control, man! Just tell her that! please?"

"All right!"

"You're the best!"

"Hey, Jeanne! I'm sorry for what happened last time. I was sort of tired and grouchy. I wasn't in a good mood. I never wanted to say it that way. I like you as a friend. And I want to keep that relationship. All right?" Eric let out a hand for a shake.

Jeanne nodded. She let out her hand and they had a friendship shake, which made James smile.

"See? Eric likes you! He just wants to keep the relationship just as friends! All cool with you?"

"Yes.." she said softly. James took her hand and walked away with her.

"You all right, now?"

"Yeah!" she nodded. "But he only wants us to be friends! because I'm a nerd!"

"Jeanne! Why don't you ever think about me? You know he's a jerk! Why do you mope around for that! So what, if he doesn't like you! Everyone is different, Jeanne. To my eyes, you are a beauty. You can't always think about him! There are other guys out there for you! Not just Eric and me! I really don't want to see you like this."

"James! Do you really love me?"

"I don't think I need to answer that!" They stared at each other for a long time.

"James!" She tried to push him away and he staggered a little.

"Jeanne! answer this for me! do you love me?"

"James, I never intended to be your girlfriend. I just want to be your friend."

"Oh, I see! you're treating me like how Eric treated you.

You don't want to be my girlfriend because I'm way different than you. You don't want to be my girlfriend because I'm better looking than you and you're afraid that people will jeer you because of that. 

Well, you know what? I don't care about any of that!" And with that, he grabbed her and locked her lips into his. After a while, he moved away.

"Oh, you really do love me!" She hugged him.

"But, Jeanne! do you still have feelings for him?"

"Yes! I always have, and always will."

"Do you want to be pretty? Like those girls over there?" James pointed to a group of girls. 

They all had big hoop earrings and what Jeanne noticed was that they did not have any thick glasses like her. Jeanne nodded. She was pretty ashamed about it.

"It's all right, Jeanne. All girls want to be good looking. Even they were ugly once. Everyone is."

"Really?"

"Sure! I used to act like a girl once. I always thought about my appearance, my clothes, and my hair ; just like a girl."

"Haha! That's funny!"

"It's good to see you laugh. Now, Jeanne. I'll help you become pretty'. Then will you be happy?"

"I don't know. I've never been attractive in my life.." she said innocently.

"Well, it's time you are!"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"OK! we'll start off with your hair. It's nice and curly. I don't think it's right to put it up in a hairdo or anything. Something needs to go with it. And I have just the perfect thing."

"What is it?"

"Jeanne! we need to pierce your ears."

"WHAT?!"

"AAAAAAAHHH! OUCH!"

"Well, that wasn't so bad! right?"

"Yeah right," Jeanne said, rubbing her ears. "James, it's even painful to touch my ears!"

"Then just leave them alone before you get an infection!"

"All right! Geez!"

"Now, we need to focus on your clothes. You can't always have a blouse with a tight sweater squeezed over it, you know. It looks like our school has a dress code. You should have a tight shirt with a miniskirt. That would look good on you."

"OK! now that we have all the clothes and jewelry, all we need to fix are your glasses. We need contacts for your eyes."
"How are we going to do that?"

"I know someone who can get us contacts. I knew my eye doctor for a long time. He can help us with it."

"So you want to give her contacts for these glasses?"

"Yeah. Can you help us?" "Well! the lens are really thick! You must be studying really hard, student," he
looked at Jeanne.

She smiled and nodded.
"So! will you take them?"

"Yeah, I guess. I really like the design. It can be a display. And whoever wants it, can get it. All right, let's get you some contacts."

"That was pretty easy, right, Jeanne?"

"But it's pretty weird not pushing up some glasses every 10 seconds."

"Haha. But your new blue eyes look marvelous."

"Wait a minuet! You got blue contacts? BLUE?!"

"Yeah. And the extra pair is just regular hazel... the same color as your eyes."

"I want the hazel ones. I don't want to be a Caucasian."

"No. Don't you want to be matching with Eric? Eric has blue contacts, too, you know!"

"Fine!" Jeanne pouted. But James knew inside she was happy. He knew he was going to have to let go of her.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

On Monday, James brought Jeanne to school. Everyone gathered around them and agreed that James and the new beautiful girl was a good couple. James put his arm around Jeanne and took her to Eric.

"What up, man? Who's the chick?" Eric asked.

"You'll never know."

"So tell me!"

"You want to tell him, girl?" James asked Jeanne.

"Hi! I'm Jeanne." James and Jeanne smiled when they heard him gasp.

"The! the nerdy! nerdy girl?"

"The same, Eric! the same."

"Can I talk to you, James?" Eric took James away from Jeanne. 

"Dude, what the hell is happening here? That's not Jeanne, right?"

"It is Jeanne! How can you live like that? How can you live with one spontaneous idea stuck in your head? Can't you ever think about Jeanne being beautiful and attractive?"

"Well! no."

"See? I knew this was a bad idea. 

But she loves you! Can't you believe that? And I love her! so I'm letting her go to the one jerk she loves.

Peace, man," and with that, James walked away. 

"Good luck, Jeanne." He stuffed his hands into his pants pockets.

He tried to stop the tears from streaming down his face.

Jeanne! if you love him that much! I'll let you go. I hope that jackass won't hurt you.

"So! You're Jeanne! The one I rejected?"

"Umm! Yeah."

"Well! I've thought about it, but I think I want you to be my girlfriend."

"Your girlfriend?"

"Yeah." Jeanne couldn't believe her ears. Thank you, James. "So! do you accept?"

"Of course I do! It's always been my dream!"

"Gosh! you have pretty weird dreams! Hey, you look cold. Here." Eric took off his sweater and wrapped it over Jeanne. Jeanne was so happy she was crying. Eric wiped her tears and comforted her.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After school, Jeanne called James to thank him.

"Hello?"
" James! Thank you so much! It went so well between Eric and me!"

"That's! that's great, Jeanne."

" I owe it all to you. Let's go out for lunch or something sometime. I'll pay." Jeanne sounded so happy.

"Jeanne, I don't think that'll be possible."

" Why not?"

"I'm leaving! to Korea."

" What about your parents? Why are you going? How are you going? I just don't believe this!"

"My parents were dead a long time ago, Jeanne. I have enough money to get on a plane to Korea."

" But! what about me? I thought you loved me!"

"Yes, I do. But you're in love with someone else and I don't want to burden you. I want you to be happy with the one you love and not be pressured by me. Tell Eric that I congratulate him and tell him good-bye please. Bye, Jeanne."

Click!

Jeanne couldn't believe it. She was able to date because of James. She was able to get attractive because of James. She was always comforted because of James! And he was leaving her out by herself in the big, hateful, hideous world. She felt suddenly so scared. She dialed James's number again, but he disconnected the phone. She finally knew who was important to her now.

She quickly dressed into the clothes James had bought for her and ran outside. She was running for dear life to James's house. When she got there, he was right there, in front of her.

Jeanne was so happy she cried out, "JAMES!" He turned to face her. 

"James, how can you leave me like this?" James looked at her with his soft eyes.

"I'm sorry, Jeanne. I have to leave. My cab's here. Bye, Jeanne." 

James gave her a peck on the cheek and disappeared into the taxi. She watched the taxi disappear into the curve and watched her James gone! forever. She started crying and crying as if her life was over. But it was! she was now alone in the world, with no one to support her.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

-15 years later-

James came back to America as a successful lawyer. He came back to America in search for the girl he had loved 15 years ago. 

Everyone in Korea had questioned him. And now that he was back, he was able to search as much as he wanted. But, little did he know there was a problem with that.

"Eric?" James had called Eric. They were in touch the whole time James was in Korea.

" Hey! What's up?"

"I came back to America, dude!"

" Oh! Umm! OK!"

"I want to ask about Jeanne. Is she all right?"

" You see, James. There's something about that you should know."

"I'm getting a bad feeling about this!"

" Well, I guess you can say she's happy and well."

"What do you mean?"

" She's with God, man. She's gone."

"Haha. Nice joke. I'm not kidding. Tell me where she is."

"DUDE! I'M TELLING YOU! AFTER YOU TOLD HER YOU WERE LEAVING HER, SHE STARTED GETTING DEPRESSED AND GETTING STRESSED! IT WAS HORRIBLE, MAN! WHY THE F*CK DID YOU LEAVE? SHE WOULD STILL BE ALIVE! BECAUSE OF YOU, SHE HAD TO SUICIDE! WHAT THE F*CK IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU DUMASS JERK! I THOUGHT YOU LOVED HER! I DON'T THINK THAT'S WHAT GUYS WHO FALL IN LOVE DO TO THEIR CRUSH! SH*T! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE. REMEMBER WHEN YOU CALLED ME A JACKASS?

You'd better think again.- Click! The phone fell from James's hand.

He dropped to his knees in disbelief. He just couldn't believe it. He felt like everything was against him. He felt so angry with himself. He felt like ripping himself up. He wanted to follow Jeanne up to heaven.

For days and days, James didn't eat a morsel of food. He started getting so much stress.

-20 days later-

James was buried right next to Jeanne's grave. His tombstone read:
R.I.P.James Park
1980-2005

THE ONE MAN WHO LET GO OF A WOMAN AND LOST HER

CITO SODEH PART 2

“En. Faris, are u ok??” tnya airin dgn cemas.

Namun masih juga tiada balasan dr Faris. Mahu x mau dier terpaksa mmberi petolongan CPR pd faris kerna tiada sesiapa y mau melakukannyer.

Setelah keadaan Faris agak baik sedikit, dier d anta k hospital utk rawtn y selanjutnye. Airin x turt serta dlm mnghantar Faris ke hospital kerna tetiba dia mndapt berita y pnting dr maknya y menyuruhnya untk segera pulang.

************************************************************************************

Betapa  gembiranya Airin kerana die d terima bekerja d Johannas & co. d New Orlans. Namun tarikh Airin mula bekrja d sana pd 21 March. Die masih ader 2 bulan lg seblm smpi pd tarikh kramat tu. Airin sempat melakukan sujud syukur kpd Allah karna doanya termakbul juga.

“Papa harap airin dpt menimba pngalmn y bnyk d sana, nnti blh la pulak ambil alih firma papa nnti ek?”seloroh  Ayah Airin yg juga telh mmpunyai firma sndiri.

“baik la papa, papa jangan r isau airin ke sana pn ingn timba pngalamn supaya nnti bleh d apply an d sini.”kata airin.

“airin je harapan Ayah untk ambik alih Firma ayah tu. Nk arap an kakak n abg ko uh, dua2 jd dokter. Nsib bek ader Airin n aiman y sudi ambil kerjaya nie.” Tmbh ayahnya dlm nada agk sedih.

“dah2 la bang, jom kite mkn. Lagipun mak msk lauk special utk Airin iaitu nasi tomato Alabona(nasi tomato tp dh d ubah sedikit oleh mak Airin)” mak Airin tetiba dtg menyampuk.

*************************************************************************************

Setelah kejadian hari itu, Faris mulai suka pd Airin. Dia terasa trhutang budi pd Airin kerna sudi mnyelamatan dier.

Faris juga x lg melayan Airin sprt sblm nie. Airin mnyedari perubahan Faris, dan dier brsyukur kpd Alllah. Faris juga mulai rapat dengan Airin. Selalu keluar makan dgn Airin n melayan airin sperti girlfrenz nye. Cinta antara mereka juga kian beputik namun masing malu untk menyatakannya telebih dahulu.

Hari beganti hari mnggu berganti minggu, kini hanya tinggal seminggu lg airin akn berangkat ke New Orlens. Hatinya mnjd sedih apabila mmekirkannyer. Airin sedih utk mninggal an keluarganya  n juga Faris stlh ape y telah mereka lalui bersama. Die masih belum mmpunyai kesemptn utk mmberitau Faris ttntg hal nie & juga perasaan dier terhadap Faris. Airin akn cuba bg tau at Faris esok ketika majlis ulng taun syarikat Faris.

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Da next day…. D tmpat majlis belangsung, Hotel Lionasino.

“wow! U look beautiful Airin juz like princess” praise Faris 2 Airin

Dgn suara pelahan Airin mmbisik sesuatu ketelinga Faris “ I wanna tell u something , let go 2 some place dad more suitable 4 us 2 talk.”

“ ok I also wanna tell u something  that gonna make u surprise 2 hear that” faris sbnrnya mrncang utk mnyatakan perasan sbnrnya trhadp Airin.

Suddenly , “ di minta Cik Airin sila kehadpn utk beri septh dua kata sblm die brangkat prgi k New Orlens mnggu dpn” kata Dato Fauzi yg mngejut an semua tetamu termasuk Faris n Airin.

“ Sila beri tepukan” smbung dato’ Fauzi lg.

Airin pergi ke atas pentas dgn perasaan bedebar2.

“ Assalamualaikum 4 Dato’ Fauzi n semua. Seperti ape y d perkatakan Dato’ td adelah sesuatu y mngejut an? Mmng betul sy akn berngkat pergi k New Orleans utk bkrja d sana.Sebenarnya  prmohonan sy d terima utk bekrja d Johannas & co. tp bukan sebagi kerani atau Assistant management tp as a lawyer. Sy bekerja di sini pn hnya ingn menimba pngalmn dlm mntdbir syrkt, walaupn sy tau ia terpesong jauh dr aper y sy belajar selama nie d university Los Angeles iaitu BA international Law n d University cambrige iaitu MA international law. Sy harap jika adew silap salah sy ade terbuat kpd tuan2 n puan harap dpt memaafkannyer dan mendoakan kejayaannya di sana ,wasalam” Airin mngabis an ucapannya secara tetiba apabila die mlht Faris berlari keluar.

Airin prg mngejr Faris utk mnjelaskan semuanya. Nasib baik dier sempt mnrik tgn Faris.

“ Faris, please here my explanation first!” kata airin dlm sura y agk tggi.

“What explanation?? I tough u r my frenz but… aargh!! Sdh la.” Balas Faris.

Airin cuba utk Faris bebincng, tapi d tolak nyer hingga terjatuh. Airin menangis disitu bukn kerna kskitan tp kerana dia tau dia tlh mnyakiti hati Faris n tidak smpt mnyatakan perasaannya pd Faris.

Mlam itu berlalu dgn kesedihan y x dapt d lupakan oleh Airin dan Faris.

Faris begitu sedih kerana ia x snggup kehilangan Airin dan mrh kerna Airin merahsian hal ini pdnya lbh2 ag psl pemergian ke New Orleans n education backgroundnya. Faris malu kerna die prnh mmperkecilkan airin dulu kerna bgnya Airin sprit gadis y x bepeljrn sngt walhalnya airin lebih bijak drnya.

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Kini tiba utk hari Airin berangkat. Dier tau Faris tidk akn trut serta dlm mnghantarnya pergi. Sebelum dier brtolak ke KLIA dier sempat mngahantr email kpd Faris.

Faris mau saja mnghntar Airin ke KLIA tp kerna sifat egoisnya die bkeras juga x pergi bia pn hati ini meronta2 utk pergi.

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Sblm ke laluan menuju ke kpl terbang dier sempt menoleh ke blkang kalau2 Faris dtg utk mngucpan slmt tinggal kpdnya dan berharap Faris akn mmbaca email y die sendkan td.. tapi hnya tinggal harpn, wajh faris tidak juga mncul

“mungkin dia x mmpunyai perasaan yg sama ak rasakn kpd nya. Biar la yg pntng bebann yg ak tggung selama ini sdh terluah” monolog Airin ketika menuju ke flight.

 D dlam flight,  Hati nya terasa gelish sprt something akn belaku tp dier x iraukn nyer mngkin hnya mainan perasaan saja.

Malaysia Airlines Boeing  7708 berlepas pd pkl 1245 pagi pd waktu Malaysia.

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Malam itu Faris x dpt tidur walaupn jam da mnnjukan jam 11. Dier juga  x tau knapa. Kplanya asyik memikrkan Airin.

Utk menghilangkan boring nyer itu die mmbuka tv satu persatu channel d tekannya dan tiba2 tr bnhnti d channel 103 @tv3 n terpaku seketika apabila ader berita tergempar y mngejutan penduduk  Malaysia kerna kpl terbang MAS Boeing 7708 telah terhempas dan rmi y meninggal dunia. Apa yg mngejutkan Faris apabila ada tercatat nama Airin Diana bt Abdul Hakim dl senarai nama penumpang y meninggal dunia. Air mata Faris x dpt dbndung lg, air mtanya mngalir dgn laju kerna org y d cintainya tlh prg mnghadp illahi tanpa sempat dier mmberi tau persaan nya yg sebenr n memohon kemaafan d atas kekasaran nyer.

Mnakala di rumah Abdul Hakim iatu rumh Airin , ibubapa Airin hampir saja pengsan apabila mndgr berita itu. Anak yg begitu mereka bngga n y pling mnja telh kembali kerahmatullah. Sedangkan  baru  pagi tadi dier mendakap ank kesyangan mereka, mmberi ciuman kasih sayg kpd Airin, tidak mereka sngka itulh kali terakhir mereka meliht muka ank mereka n melakukan semua itu. Namun mereka sedar ini semua ketentuan Illahi, dan mereka sebgi hambaNya haruslh mnerima ketentuanNya dgn seikhlas y mngkin.

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2 minggu  telah berlalu. Dn 2 mnggu juga tempoh utk Faris recover from his sadness. Selama tempoh itu juga dia x prg kerja. Namun setelah semuanya kmbali normal, Faris kembali bekrja. Apabila  dia smpi ke office nye perkra pertama y d lakukan iaitu check his email . ini kerana ade email dr pembekal syarktnya, dan sudah dua minggu juga la emailnya x dibuka.

Selepas melihat satu2 email, tiba2 jntngnya sprt terhenti sketika stlh mlht satu email y brtarikh 21/03/08 dr Airin Diana or love_misery@hotmail.com. Dia mngerakkn mousenya dn mnekan left klik  mouse  y mnandakn utk mmbukakan nya.

Faris mmbaca Email y di beri oleh Airin y d sendkan pd hari Airin brangtkt  New Orleans  .

  

Assalamualaikum Faris…..

Mungkin u will be surprise , b’cos  sy sempat lg menghantar email pd awk pd hari keberangkatan sy.

Before I go I hope u can hear my explanation about all that happen.  First , I relly sorry what I hav done 2 u. sebenarnya sy x berniat lngsung nk bwat awk cam tu. Psl education background yg sy rahsiakan pd awk sebenrnya bersebab. Sy sebnrnya x suka org y bek dgn sy  itu dsbbkan education dan org2 y biasa education msti merasa rendh dri apabila brhadpn dgn  sy, n that not my stail.

4 news that I’m leaving 2 work at New Orleans b cos when I with u everything what I gonna tell u disappear  . Why ?? jus 1 reason n that reason is I LOVE YOU. Yes I love u mohd faris b Dato’  fauzi. Pd mlm 2 sebenrnya sy nk bg tau my feeling tp bnda lain y terjd.

So Faris I hope u giv ne one more chance. Please…..

If u also hav da same feeling please  come 2 KLIA airport this afternoon before I go. Please…..

Seblm tgn ini brhnti menaip , ader puisi cinta utk u y mnggunkap makna cinta sy setelah jatuh cnta pd mu,

Biarpun lidah sudah menghuraikan dengan jelas.

 Rasanya tanpa lidah, cinta ini lebih jelas lagi,

Sementara pena tergesa-gesa menuliskannya.

Kata-kata akan pecah berkeping-keping ketika mmbaca bab cinta ini. Dalam menghuraikan cinta ini, akal terbaring tidak berdaya.

Bagaikan keldai yang terbaring dalam lumpur, cinta ini sendirilah yang menerangkan cinta sy ini.

Wassalam

From Someone dad love u very much,

Airin Diana.

Sepert dunia telah kiamat dan dinding batu mnghempapnya setelah mmbaca email itu.

“Why I’m so stupid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I also LOVE U, AIRIN DIANA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”Teriak Faris sekuat hati.

Namun tidak berguna lagi kerna Airin telah pergi buat selama-lamanya…

Ends..